Bullying

Our responsibility as parents

The Cambridge dictionary describes bullying as “the behaviour of a person who hurts or frightens someone smaller or less powerful, often forcing that person to do something they do not want to do”.

Volodymyr Zelensky might redefine this as “Donalding”.

As a GP, I frequently encounter the consequences of bullying in the children and young people I see. Sometimes it is overt, in the form of poor mental health, but often it presents as the reluctant school-attender with otherwise unexplained abdominal pain or headache. The exponential growth of social media has exacerbated this; the home no longer the safe haven it once was.

When we talk about bullying, the focus is most often on our response to it. We encourage children to report bullying, and schools are expected to have a range of strategies designed to address bullying when it occurs. This is absolutely necessary.

However, also necessary is that greater focus be placed on addressing the causes of bullying in society. Parents particularly need to model strong virtuous behaviour based on values of honesty, fairness and equality to help our children better discern right from wrong. This has become more challenging given the “disinformation space” that now surrounds us.

As parents we are inevitably biased to more easily spot when our children are “being bullied” than “being the bully”. We therefore must do more to “call out” morally maligned behaviour and we can’t rely upon the leaders within society to do this for us; politicians caught in an unenviable compromise between principle and diplomacy.

We need to be brave in upholding principles at home, and in challenging instances of bullying behaviour when encountered. This can be done in a non-judgemental, supportive manner that describes the behaviour for what it is, without labelling the child as a bully.

The fight against “Donalding” starts at home, and we all have our part to play.

Dr Chris Humphrey

Published: Apr 3, 2025